A tribute to Dr. Wayne Dyer

KH and Wayne DyerIt’s amazing how many of us have a story about Dr. Wayne Dyer. A favorite quote. A favorite teaching. A moment where we met him.

Because that’s the thing about Wayne, he was that accessible.

Voted the 3rd most spiritual person on the planet (behind the Dalai Lama and Eckhart Tolle), he was known by everyone. He was the ice breaker to spirituality. The way shower for those just dabbling and others wanting to go deeper into remembering who we are.

Wayne was the one I would recommend to friends who were jaded or skeptic to this ‘new age’ world, because of his ability to take ageless wisdom and break it down simply, for everyone to understand and in an easy to absorb, non-airy fairy way.

wayne dyer quote 1Not only was he wise, but he was kind. He was love personified. And he was patient and humble. And grateful.

When I met him in 2011 at the first Hay House ‘I Can Do It’ Conference in Vancouver, he opened the weekend Friday night with an inspiring, standing O (worth the price of the weekend ticket) talk. And then on Saturday, he returned during the day, just to meet people. To chat, get to know us, sign books, take photos and to hug.

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Be Wary the Calcified Heart

heart wide openYou know that line in the Taylor Swift song… Why you gotta be so mean?

That’s me. I can be mean.

Most people would think I’m delusional for saying that. I’m the nicest person they know, they say. I don’t have a mean bone in my body, they say. But I do. Rarely anyone sees this side of me, because I’ve learned to tame that baby dragon (with my Scorpio stinger), where she stays fed and watered in the basement of my heart.

But every once in a while, she comes out to play. It’s no longer a fire breathing death disaster as in days of the past. It’s now subtle. Like little backhanded comments, that jab at another right in their soft parts, leaving them wounded without even realizing they’ve been hurt. I’m that good. Don’t cross the Kirsten.

For a long time, I lived by the mantra of the ever cool Hugh Grant in About a Boy “I’m a bloody island, I’m bloody Ibitha,” proud of my strength and independence as a woman. It made me powerful, I thought. It made me courageous, I thought.

Most times we’re taught that being strong is powerful. And in order to be powerful, we must sacrifice our warmth; our heart. Movies and TV now show female heroines as tough as nails, rather than in touch with their emotions. It’s way cooler to be the wise-cracking sarcastic like Veronica Mars. It’s not safe to be vulnerable and real.

But herein lies the contradiction.

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You Are Enough

infiniteI’m a big personality. I make big facial expressions. I have big hand gestures. There is really nothing small about me, except my chest size.

If I’m speaking out loud or about something personal, chances are, I’ll crack a joke and try to make it entertaining, or worthy of an audience.

Even if that audience is just one person.

That’s just always been who I am.

In acting class recently, after doing my monologue for the first time, my teacher had me sit on my hands and just speak the words from a place of truth, nothing else. No big expressions, no wild hand gestures. No need to entertain or perform.

I was just to be.

It was torture.

“Why?” I asked. “This just feels wrong.”

She said, “Trust me.”

I did my monologue again. And this time, when I was done, she asked me how it felt. I told her I felt like a brick wall, void of any emotion and boring as hell.

She and the class disagreed – saying it was way more powerful this way.

Stunned, I asked: “But how?”

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Where We Are Now: Tales of Truth from a Former Sheeple Pleaser

dream your own masterpiece quoteAnyone else already feeling different than you did last year? Like you’re being pushed to purge and let go beyond your comfort zone?

We’ve launched into 2015 at breakneck speed, still being carried on the backs of the Year of the Horse galloping us towards the Year of the Sheep, which is about to begin on February 4th, 2015.

Most of you will be reading Chinese and Numerology forecasts all over the internet by experts who will go into it with much greater detail. I’m here to take those tidbits of wisdom and put together the pieces of the puzzle into one giant picture of coherency and hopefully inspiration.

In Numerology, we’ve begun an 8 year (2 + 0 + 1 + 5 = 8) which signifies Power, Prosperity and Passion. It’s a year of Abundance on all levels, and a time to reap the rewards of all our efforts. This isn’t just singularly, it’s collectively.

Of course, what is going on inside us individually is usually a reflection of what is happening outwardly as well. We may look different but our inner worries, fears, joys and sorrows are all a lot more similar than we might think. If we are fighting one another, we are unconsciously fighting ourselves. Outward battles are called war. Inner battles are called cancer.  And on the flip side, collectively we are yearning for some positive shifts.  And this is the year it can happen.

Last year, 2014, we were in a 7 year, which is about inner soul reflection and getting clear on who we are and what we want…. While still being pushed by those galloping wild horses. It was intense. Sometimes we wanted off the racetrack to slow down and go inward. To better know ourselves.

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2015 and the Pursuit of Happiness


Happy New Year! As we begin a new cycle, and start banging out a long list of unreasonable resolutions and stressful expectations, let us stop and have a little #TBT fun, by grooving to Kid Cudi’s “Pursuit of Happiness.”

This song gets me. Right in the soft spots. It makes me want to move my hips. It’s sexy and it speaks to that inner longing within us all…. That ever-elusive Pursuit of Happiness…. A belief most of us have because “I’ll be fine…once I get it.”

But what if that wasn’t the truth? Hold up, what?!

Stay with me. What if Happiness wasn’t a pursuit, an unreachable material thing that we strive for never to fully grasp…? But instead, Happiness consisted of moments. Little bits of joy. Bite size pieces of pure ecstasy.

Let me break it down for you. Children are the purest source. They aren’t tainted by the reality of life’s stresses just yet. You look at them and their wide eyes are filled with wonder. They know pure joy, freedom, pleasure, unbridled enthusiasm…. And yet, they can also stomp their feet, and throw a temper tantrum if they don’t get their MumMum cracker soon enough.

That’s the reality yo. Not even the purest little innocent baby can uphold happiness all day long. They crash. They need to eat, sleep and rejuvenate just like the rest of us.

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The Poetic Reflections of Relationships and Mirrors

“The people we are in relationship with
 are always a mirror, reflecting our own beliefs 
and simultaneously we are mirrors, reflecting their beliefs.
 So, relationship is one of the most powerful tools for growth….
If we look honestly at our relationships
, we can see so much about how we have created them.” – Shakti Gawain

We all have certain ways of being with others.  Sometimes we know what we are doing and other times, our actions and behaviours are completely unconscious. If we are aware of our “issues”, we usually don’t like to acknowledge them to avoid shining light on our shame.  Well, I’m gonna go against the traditional rules of poker, and show you my hand.

I have had certain “habits” in my friendships and relationships. I have put others needs ahead of my own.  I have sacrificed myself for another’s wellbeing.  I have assumed to know what is best for them and what they are thinking, needing or expecting, and took action to make them happy, in an effort to avoid putting them out. I have tried to rescue friends and lovers from their pain, all the while, waiting for them to value me in return.  I have waited for them to see me.

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We All Want To Be Special

We all want to know that we matter in this world and that our life has meaning. Within us lies this inexplicable need to be Special.  To know that we aren’t a mistake and we haven’t been forgotten.

As children, we lose ourselves in fantastical tales of wishes fulfilled.  We relate to the story of the ordinary boy, who one day discovers he is the most powerful wizard in the world. We live vicariously through these characters, wishing, hoping, that we were just like them.  If only.

As adults, myself included, we are no different.  The longing to be special remains.

But with our need to be special, comes with it our fear of being different.  As humanity, we are a walking contradiction, afraid of being ostracized.  For we may dream of being recognized for our uniqueness, but we are also deathly afraid of shining our lights, and being our most expansive selves. As Marianne Williamson said:

“It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”

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What we Focus on Expands, so Give Love

Life is a choice. It’s up to us how we choose to experience our lives. We can wake up in the morning, feeling the doldrums, stomping our feet, and shaking our first at the world for another cold, rainy day.  Or we can choose to see life as a glass full of amazing potential; like golden sunshine eager to part the clouds and show its face for another extraordinary day.

The mind is incredibly powerful, and “What we focus on, Expands.”  In the most simplified terms, the neurons in our brain cells are electromagnetic, therefore magnetically drawing to us exactly what we ask for, no matter how wonderful or awful that may be.

For most of my life, I believed my future was bright, but I was still waiting for that day to appear.  As a result, I was always focusing on what was missing, rather than having gratitude for what was already there.  Since I’ve consciously shifted my outlook, my life has (not coincidentally) changed. Today upon waking, I stretch my arms to the heavens and say thanks.  I vocally proclaim, “Today is the best day of my life, and no matter what happens, I choose to be Happy.”  And it absolutely works.

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Trust: You Will Always Find Your Way

“When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, Let it Be.  And in my hour of darkness, she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom, Let it Be.” – The Beatles

Sometimes we hurt.  There are times when we are able to mask the pain, keep a smile on our face and go about our daily lives as though nothing is wrong.  But then there are those other times when we can’t even lie to ourselves.

Where we are hit with something so difficult and unavoidable, it takes every ounce of energy to just hold on, and not get swept away with the pain.  Those times when we can’t see our way out.  We are stilted.  Feel stuck.  Completely lost.  We’ve all been there.  But no matter the pain, there is always a golden gift at the end of the murky tunnel, if we allow ourselves to see it.

These past few months have been some of the most challenging for myself, where the oldest hurts and patterns were forced to the surface; needing to be released.

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