Authenticity = Intimacy

The term “Authenticity” has been coming up so much in my own life recently that it became very clear to me this was to be the topic of my first official blog. It’s about setting the intention with how I choose to show up in the world, being authentic with myself, embracing who I am, and allowing my own unique voice to shine forth.

As a writer, my intention is to reflect back all the beauty that is in this world and within us all through words.  For when I’m connected to my Heart, I feel a longing to share the Truth and not hold back. I will say the words that people feel but are too afraid to express. I will show you that it’s safe to be real.

For me, being Authentic is letting the masks fall, and allowing my guard to come down.  It’s about being completely vulnerable and having the courage to stand there open, letting others see all of me.  Because truly, who we are in essence is so much more beautiful that anything we could ever try to be.  Yet, somehow, and for some reason, we’ve been taught it’s not.

Truthfully, I’d much rather know the real you, feel the longing in your heart and see the magnificent depths of your soul, then hear anything your mind could recite from a book or has been trained to think.

I’ve tried being someone other than who I am, but I was only fooling myself. The majority of all communication is done non-verbally, through the transfer of energy.  Actual words only play a minor role.  Our Spirit and energy supersedes us; who we are is going to shine through anyway.  Therefore, why not be in alignment with the words we are speaking?  Why not come from our Truth?

I’ve found from experience that the greatest betrayal one can ever commit is to dishonor one’s true self.  We do this, to serve another, thinking that their wellbeing is somehow more important than our own.  But deep down we know we aren’t serving them at all when we are compromising or betraying ourselves.  But yes, sometimes we do it anyway. Over the years, I’ve seen myself do it over and over, until I finally understood how great of a disservice I was being to myself.  All I was doing was letting me down. And I was miserable.

Everyone is seeking Happiness.  We’ve been taught that being happy is the ultimate goal in life, and feeling anything other than that is somehow a failure.  People strive for and long for happiness, but it’s such an outward concept, that most times we have no idea what that truly means.  It’s a fantasy based on an idea, and from the media’s perspective, it usually involves having a plethora of material possessions, a beautiful image and outward success.  Everything is surface related.

But real happiness comes from within, and no outward accomplishments will ever give us true satisfaction.  We can have the perfect partner, but until we love ourselves wholeheartedly, we will still feel empty. One will never be happy if first they don’t truly love and accept themselves.

So how does this connect to authenticity?  By being honest with ourselves in the quiet moments, when we are alone, we are opening ourselves up to a whole new perspective on life.  We are opening to intimacy.  We are all so incredibly sacred. A unique gem in a field of flowers.  But you need to water and care for your heart so that it can learn to trust and have faith that you will be there.  That you won’t let yourself down.

Put your hand to your heart, and breathe.  What are you feeling?  What is your heart saying?  Listen.  There is wisdom in your heart that never lies.  And if you can’t be honest with yourself, how do you ever expect to let someone else truly see you?

I can speak from experience by saying that it is incredibly lonely never really connecting with anyone.  We miss out on the opportunity to really receive the blessings that are present to us at every moment.  We may think that any sign of weakness or imperfection means we are somehow less than, but what if it meant, we were more together because we were brave enough to be ourselves? I have repeatedly been shown that the more I am true to myself, the more in alignment and synchronistic my life flows. And the more others feel safe to be real back to me.

As Marianne Williamson so wisely put:

“When you let your light shine, you unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

It may seem scary, but once we let go of our need for control, and we just be; it is extremely empowering.  Life is about growth and expansion.  If we knew all the answers, life would be really boring.  The more I grow, and the more I know, the more I am shown the less I actually know about anything.  I can get to places of great clarity, where I gain a deeper understanding of myself in ways I never dreamt possible, and then the next week, I’ll realize that the very foundation with which I saw the world a week ago was only a mindset or a belief, and today it’s different.  But today, it’s even better!  It’s like everyday the pieces of the giant puzzle are slowly being drawn towards me, like magnets coming into alignment, forming into the miraculous whole.

We age in physicality and in wisdom.  We grow in our physical bodies, and then our minds and hearts try to catch up to the ageless wisdom of our soul. Everything about being HuMan shows us that we are evolving.  If you accept where you are at, and let your emotions rise to the surface, bringing light to the darkness, you will find your answers.  But by stuffing you down, the person staring back at you in the mirror is only a shell of your possibility.  And is that how you choose to show up for yourself and your relationships?

It’s about taking responsibility and accountability for our actions and experiences and choosing to be empowered.  Each and every one of us is incredibly powerful. We all hold this amazing ability to manifest and co-create our life, choosing the way we wish to see the world.

As my teacher Sonia Choquette says, you can choose to see the world as “Me Against You”, where you keep your guard up and never really let others in, blaming the world for all that’s been done to you.  Or you can choose to see the world as “Me And You”, where you realize we are all in this together.  And that there is a shining light within each of us that is longing to be seen, heard and recognized.  And who better to witness your magnificence than your own divine self.

We have choice about what part of us we let others see, but what we can’t control is how others see us.  My wise mother always says, “What another thinks of you is none of your business.”  We can’t live our lives trying to be what we think someone wants.  We can’t assume to know either.  We will never get it right and instead we will spend years trying to unravel ourselves back to our Truth and our own Power.  There is only one you on this planet so celebrate your uniqueness.

The world is a safe place.  I know this to be true.  My greatest hope is that one day we will all believe this as Truth, and learn to see the goodness in every single one of us.  For if you look at yourself or another authentically, you will see pure divinity and immense possibility staring back.

Until next time ——

In Authentic Love & Light,

Kirsten cropped Final Logo white background-name-blue

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