Fear

I’ve never been good at letting go. When I was young and someone called out for me, I would respond, “Hold On.” I never knew it would mean literally.

I still have memory boxes from childhood that my mom is convinced are filled with gum wrappers. Okay, in my defense they were really funny bubble gum wrappers (you remember the ones with the joke?) that were a gift and are now like retro…. Nuff said.

Recently at the Salvation Army, while dropping off some awesome things that had been in my trunk far longer than necessary, I stood there, pondering if it was really best to let them go… I mean, of course I need 3 pairs of Uggs. As if needing a healthy shove from an angel in overalls, a guy called out, “When you left your house it felt like a good idea. Don’t turn back. Now just go out and get more stuff.” Tail between my legs, I hugged my Uggs goodbye. #HugsforUggs

I’ve mastered the art of the long goodbye, watching my family until they disappear around the corner, soaking in every last essence of their aura, knowing that someday it will be the last time. Pretty morbid sure but it’s a coping mechanism I’ve adopted, and call me superstitious, I ain’t changing now.

I’ve lost family before, tragically and suddenly. It’s excruciating. Not just in losing the ones we’ve lost, but how it changes those left behind.

That kind of letting go is forced upon us, and can lead to patterns of abandonment, thereby shaping how we see the world whether we are aware of it or not.

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Anyone else already feeling different than you did last year? Like you’re being pushed to purge and let go beyond your comfort zone?

We’ve launched into 2015 at breakneck speed, still being carried on the backs of the Year of the Horse galloping us towards the Year of the Sheep, which is about to begin on February 4^th, 2015.

Most of you will be reading Chinese and Numerology forecasts all over the internet by experts who will go into it with much greater detail. I’m here to take those tidbits of wisdom and put together the pieces of the puzzle into one giant picture of coherency and hopefully inspiration.

In Numerology, we’ve begun an 8 year (2 + 0 + 1 + 5 = 8) which signifies Power, Prosperity and Passion. It’s a year of Abundance on all levels, and a time to reap the rewards of all our efforts. This isn’t just singularly, it’s collectively.

Of course, what is going on inside us individually is usually a reflection of what is happening outwardly as well. We may look different but our inner worries, fears, joys and sorrows are all a lot more similar than we might think. If we are fighting one another, we are unconsciously fighting ourselves. Outward battles are called war. Inner battles are called cancer. And on the flip side, collectively we are yearning for some positive shifts. And this is the year it can happen.

Last year, 2014, we were in a 7 year, which is about inner soul reflection and getting clear on who we are and what we want…. While still being pushed by those galloping wild horses. It was intense. Sometimes we wanted off the racetrack to slow down and go inward. To better know ourselves.

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